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Thursday, 9 June 2016

Swing flip

Have you ever seen someone do something and you want to try, but it's not as easy as it looks? I arrive at the camp and my eyes are suddenly drawn to the playground. The best part about the playground is that it has swings. They sit there tall and proud. 

I rush over, trying get there before anyone else does. I leap onto the surrounding bark and start to walk in slow motion thinking “should do a flip off the swing?” I have done one off the front before, but never from the back, so that's what I am determined to do! 

My heart starts beating faster and faster. When I sit myself down it feels like the whole world is watching me. I push off and start to lean back. Back and forwards, back and forwards. 
I start to shout. 
“Does anyone knows my phone number?”  I'm not sure anyone understood my screaming voice. Sweat drips down my forehead until I decide it's now or never. I let go.

 A few last thoughts whizz through my head. What have I got myself into? I am going to die! I’m doomed. But then, remembering like Star Wars what my gym instructor said, “tuck Joe tuck”! I tuck and start to rotate faster and faster, until I release my hold and land on two feet, just behind the swing. 
Then I hear Xavier saying “I'll give that a try!”


For this story I have been learning about how to hook people in and build up tension. I also have used more punctuation  than usual because it made more sense. I had to check for ed’s because that makes it in the present tense. My goal was to chunk my writing into paragraphs, which I did.
To improve I think I should use more words that explain and show, without saying I was scared.

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